`JOnathan~~

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Today's guitar concert reminds me of my VJCO experience...2 years back.
i remembered that for Vhaposody'06, VJCO marched out of school together to East Coast Park after concert. (haha, and i rmb xiang le did a forfeit at 1 am at the beach).
those were the olden days.
This year is sadly...not the same for me anymore.
it was not as joyous as before. i didn't grow to miss practices after the concert. (well, what i miss are the olden days)
looking back over these two years in VJCO, i am not trying to boast about anything, but i rmb ppl telling me that i am like some enthu freak for VJCO.
true, i was passionate, enthusiastic about VJCO. i just love to hang around the CO room for no apparent reason, i go up to music room for add prac just to brush up on my music, i can proudly argue with the whole world that VJCO is the BEST.
haha, right now, i can only laugh at the past. laugh at those memorable moments i had with my seniors, or am i laughing at myself?
What an enthusiastic fool i have been for VJCO.

why was i so enthu? where did so much passion, energy and motivation come from?

What a foolish enthusiast i have been.

when i fall in VJCO, no one from this group which i called "friends" came to even ask about me. DID nothing just happen?! instead, i heard...
accusations... like,
"he came late for one sectional and still appear to be so lax"
excuses...
"we should be fair to the newcomers. we should not base our selection on what he has done so far."
and words like,
"there are just people out there who are better than you."
" i think his thinking is too simplistic."
"i think he plays too much, he just come to CO to have fun."

Dreams i have for VJCO, well they may really be too simplistic for a place and people in VJCO.
I won't stop dreaming though. However, i will stop being enthusiastically foolish and foolishly enthusiastic.
i may be staying but i can't and dun wanna promise anything and my heart is no longer at where it was, two years ago.
Perhaps this place is just undeserving of whatever dreams i have but i know for sure, i have a duty to serve out there and i am willing to move on from the new duty i have been blessed with.
don't say i am being unfair to VJCO because i feel it has not been fair to me as well.
i believe that my new duty is where i should commit my fullest of capabilities into (as usual). i am happy there and i won't shortchange them.

Jonathan posted at 12:03 AM

***